Untying the Mangled.

M: Christian, I have never expected you here.

I: Why, Ma'am May, I never did, too.

M: It's the first time to see you here.

I: Uh. But Ma'am, I'm always here! Maybe it just had happened we never bumped into each other yet.

M: Trust me, Ian. I have already known people who always go here; and you're not in the list. Gees, What brings you here? I will never mind it if you have company... is Joar here? Ricky?

I: No, he's not here apparently, Ma'am. Neither Ricky. I just want to think about our radio drama. The topics. I thought it would be better to do it in a peaceful place. :) Believe me Ma'am that's all.

M: I see, with all the doodles of lyrics there... you have drawn on your paper. And a cup of coffee already cold. To sum it: you in a, well, very tranquil, calm, coffee shop... those six words can never be fixed in a sentence I believed once. (You, in, a, tranquil, coffee, shop excluding other synonymous things) I don't believe you.

I: It so happens I have not thought of my life yet. It so happens, Ma'am, that some people earn something for a change. Do not mind me Ma'am. Pretend I'm not here. Pretend I'm dead.

M: Ian, there are some things man has kept with himself. But you are still a fine boy. You have by all means not found your console yet. Man has already brought himself to a higher level of self-thinking. And you have not yet. Never will that happen if no one will talk to you sincerely.

I: Ma'am. I'd rather keep it to myself; I will never forgive myself if I don't resolve it myself. I don't feel like talking to anyone, forgive me. I do not know... every time I think of it the pain adds a little more. I cannot take it anymore. I'm sorry.

M: Oh. Is that so? Have you ever thought that I'm still your teacher? Anyway, your grades in English will be written in red pen slash pencil... (but before Ma'am continues, Ian blurts out.)

I: Okay here it goes! See, I just can't help but shed a tear. Is that enough already? Or enough to get you a red pen, Ma'am? I hate my life.

M: What about your life?

I: See, I have just felt like nobody fits as a friend anymore. Also, I have been torn. I don't know exactly what to do. Add our Analytic Geometry problem that requires a tremendous Euclidean mind. And I know, for one, that this is just a fraction of it.

It's like everything's going to explode!

M: Ian, how can I understand you if you, yourself would not understand you?

I: That's the point, Ma'am. I have been suffering great dilemma lately.

M: I don't see it in you.

I: That's why I'd rather keep my mouth shut.

M: No, it's useless. Tell your problem, and I promise to keep it a secret.

I: But... I bet you still won't understand. Candor as I may talk, I really lost a friend. I have been imagining myself unaffected. I have always dreamed of smiling always, I've been practicing therapeutic something something and it's all a big loss. I have just proven I'm not a great person after all.

M: No one, in my life, could be as perfect as me, you know. I hope you get my point.

I: I'm trying, Ma'am.

M: See, Ian. Whoever this person is, I hope you find the spirit to live without him. It will never be easy, for some time in our life, there's a special person, regardless of the sex, that will come and turn your whole world upside down, spark you for the first time in your life, then get mad at you, and say a goodbye without opening his mouth. It hurts. And what's strange? Even the happiest people experience it.

I: I know, Ma'am. It's never easy.

M: Do not cry, Ian. Whoever that person is, I hope he sees you. I don't want you crying.

I: That would never happen. I don't think she, apologies, he would never realize the pain. Sometimes, I think no one regrets my loss. I don't know. Do you feel it? When everything goes the other way around, you're so upset, but then it just happens that no one cares at all?

I must be crazy, huh.

M: Ian. Have you ever experienced a day without food?

I: No. I eat food 5 times a day. I drink more soft drinks than anyone can drink. I could have sold those for enough savings. I get your point, Ma'am.

M: See, you get it. We are going there; problem is you don't appreciate things. Frankly, I hate you for thinking like that. Do you think people would really love going with you if you think negatively? I don't think so. You're one of the luckiest people! Problem is you don't think of it. Let others feel you. Your presence! You're there, a person, you feel, therefore, you're human. You are hurt, and so are they. It's normal; to feel invisible. But then do you realize that sometimes you feel like someone other people look up to?

Bottomline: Ian, do not think like that. Whenever my students have problem, the pain stabs me more.

I: Wow, Ma'am. I guess I've just been pessimistic. And egoistic. And narrow-minded. I guess I've just been dumb again. Unlike anyone else who proved they can be a good friend.

M: Ian. I thought you've realized it? Look at me, do I look like I have a problem (Ma'am looks like she has a problem big time)

I: Uh... yeah.

M: Well I'm not scared to show it. I don't wear a mask.

I: What's with not wearing a mask Ma'am? Are you talking metaphorically?...

M: Yes, Ian. You don't want to feel sad. But everybody will be sad. I meant will, because it's not just a probability. You want me to talk to her?

I: No, Ma'am. And how do you know it's a she?

M: I did not. :) All I know is that you would not be so affected if it's just someone from your classification of gender. Do you want?

I: Thank you, Ma'am. But I know for one you've already helped very much. Now it's my turn to help myself. *hugs, sigh, smile at each other, farewell...*

~000~