Jesus Christ: My Modern Day Hero

(Who would deserve it more?)

Someone told me in the dark depths of solace,

"Give up on a thing you always fail to face!",

But then you came like the card of ace,

To light me up, more than the sun's rays.

The cross wholeheartedly you kiss,

Did you not shed a tear, despite an abyss,

Instead held a grip onto yourself,

Ask me how, who says I can tell myself.

It is heroism after all, fighting the knife,

In a test of faith that is simply life,

And though the course of this piece has gone far,

still my question is,

How do you still find solitude in these?

The lures of our hearts in lyrics...

There had come a time when I had my first crush, and while on my way home riding in a bus, a sad love song played and I was so affected for no reason at all I burst into tears. It was a genuine relief no one heeded me. Also came a time when nothing else would add the happiness than a theme song for my friends (like Price Tag, wherein actually I think I'm the only one who solely remember it for my co-altar servers; or Nanghihinayang for something I still laugh at whenever hearing it). Now, whenever hearing this, I can laugh at those memories.

Once, I had a best friend, and out of the blue we thought of an old song that would mean a lot especially to me. I don't really know if she still knows it but the lyrics are still fresh in my memory, along with those moments. It's Got to Believe in Magic by the way.

And being a junior student, a fortuneteller one actually, I'd like, and know, We'll be a Dream as our graduation song. If ever I'll pass those hard years ongoing and will.

I have always condemned myself to everything where I could hear any sound. At least, when I was a child. Every single time I review for any test scheduled the next day, I lock myself from any disturbing thought. I don't listen to television or my mom when she tells I need to eat adequately. But I know it was before, and when I accidentally watched Doraemon wherein an episode completely epitomized me - a boy who got completely farcical when he studied for some tests without hearing anything - I honestly got frightened. There are so many factors, really. And I gave out an example. Do-ra-e-m-mon... even this cartoon has a nice pick of tune. And yes, I got into music very much since then.

My betterment in terms of good taste in music not only includes those that affect me; but also the piffle-classified; which I realized loosened up some things I think hardly, and nothing at all. Like, California King Bed, or The Time, or On the Floor, or most especially, Therapy. Why, who says I'd partied so hard or made out with someone and then went ten thousand miles apart, unable to forget the taste of climax?, or I got so emotional that I almost slashed my wrists and just wanting to be appreciated so badly? I listen to them merely for relieving exhaustion; and who knows maybe someday I can even relate to those. Maybe I thought rightly.

Isn't it awesome how, for instance, you cannot decipher what you feel - sometimes you're sad, then happy, then the next thing you know your imponderable mood changed it swing again - then here comes a song that fitted the needle to mend the strings attached, so you breathed a sigh, totally relating to it? Trust me, you're not alone. I feel you.

I always count songs as my safe haven, a console, better yet a well-written diary I can just express my feelings through it. When there came a time for love, songs are always there. My mom cannot give me a proper advice, for 1) she must not know it, for awkwardness's sake and 2) it's too embarrassing to tell it. Yes, my friends are there, but what could they do? Laugh at my buffoon-looking state? They give a fine advice, but at least, embarrassing too.

When I just cannot see what's wrong with me, there are songs about life, about realizations and how to deal with it with such competence and confidence joined. And when something funny goes along with this trend, music never fails to give me the total impact.

Weird thing, huh? Music may vary from what my mind has journeyed already: Rock, Ballad, Classic, Old, Pop, Rap, or Love (what with so many genre. I'm not a know-it-all to state the right, et cetera.) Or, it may vary to a deeper meaning whether it deals with fixing a broken heart, or about cold nights I can just sleep without shedding a tear, or just enough to laugh at. Point is, we all have a memory to cherish, let alone feel, with ourselves sometime in our life; like songs enveloped in our human iPod, heart. As for me, I am the perfect example of someone captivated with those trinkets that have surprisingly big effects.

I must admit, they give me motivations to choose what's right or wrong; at the same time inspirations to do good next time, or keep up the good work, whichever. Music is the aurora of the North and South Pole when everything else is cold and dark... just like the aurora, it is beautiful, and has many meanings depending on the definer. I love the aurora, as for me.

Wait, my favorite song's playing on the radio.

First things first.

This is my requirement blog/English III blog. Yep, heard, rather read that well. This is my blog.

I need not actually to put first things first, but whatever I want to say goes here, anyway. So, basically, "Miracles do happen" is a paraphrase of my life into words; anything is here, from the smallest bauble to that greatest things that would move me, from the way I breathe, to the way I don't. This is where a hero lets it all out. And yes. It is stated in my header. So I hope I don't let you whine for some matters I write here down. Thank you very much.

For the benefit of getting to know an unpopular lad, and because blogs are all about getting to know the blogger for real. And what do you know; maybe some stalker, scratch that, follower out there would like to see me as a blogger.

• I just want to disentangle my life in words. Some of it.
• I’m an outcast to many people in the crowd, in the limelight whenever with my friends. I’m completely a stranger if I don’t know you by heart. Good luck making friends.
• I kiss remotes. I always love them. Reason why tardiness is my middle initial, and wear eyeglasses, but I lost them anyway. Old school since then. I love Spongebob Squarepants, who are you to judge.
• An altar server/knight of the altar. It doesn’t show if we meet at school, in fact, only few people know I do this, but mind you, when I’m already there, I can be the most beatific person you’ll ever meet.
• Anime became a part of me since childhood: like, 4, 5 or 6, I don’t know. Until now, I still spend time watching it. One time, I flunked Science exam because I bought a CD of Pokemon the night before it. Exaggerated for crying out loud.
• Started reading books since I was in third grade, but I never got the hang out of it. A friend had influenced me, and now, I’ve been coping and loving printed words again.
• Fun fact, the first book I read in third grade… I lost it. It’s a book filled with many stories. Anyway,Secret Island was a book my sister and now I own it. Still haven’t finished it. It’s next in line though, after my second to the last.
• Harry Potter has captivated me and now, I’m trying to look for cash and time to buy a set of books. But I can stick with borrowing for now, at least. Dumbledore, you’re going to be proud of me once I memorize all of the spells. Accio, Levicorpus, Agua Menti, Avada Kedavra, and so much more. And oh my god, I cannot take it ended so soon when I just started being a fan.
• Sleepyhead by day, insomniac by night. Enough said.
• A junior student at Cavite National Science High School, and I must admit, high school is really nice so far. I'm not going to elaborate this, because obviously I could go more and say more, and only get far-fetched, until I finally arrive at the first sentence of this. And basically, I am going to write about it and my life, anyway, so why bother?
• I love playing with my sometimes-long-oftentimes-short hair. I always feel cool whenever my hair is nicely done. Yes, that, and some other things. And I love to feel cool in the comfort room, when other people won't see me, so I could think I'm handsome and all. There's no denying I'm good in imagining. It comes true.
• Got millions of male hormones. Every guy loves girls who have sweet scent, beautiful face, and of course, tits. One of those. What I thought blogging is supposed to be honest. But I'm telling you, body does not count as part of the criteria when it comes to love. No worry, no worry.
• Snob; I think so.
• I had patched up my heart once, and I swear it’s not that easy fixing it. Boy, just looking for threads and a needle is screwing, how much more when you mend it? I don’t even know how to, it's a miracle. Wow, am I going to slash my wrists now?
• I do not believe the all-time favorite deception: the nature of the clichéd ‘friends forever’. I have been, twice, the epitome of a victim believing that there is such thing as that. Yes, and I mean this.
• And I don’t know if I can handle the next time I will be deceived. I should have known that only Jesus was, is, and will be my best friend.
• I have a cool life, but I’m still searching for the hero I am obliged to find. Then I’ll have my saving grace.
• A Walk To Remember (by Nicholas Sparks) is an instrument that made my life different, and the way I look about it. Jamie Sullivan, you will be forever my one and only fictional woman. As for Landon, I know I can be you if I believe in myself. I love both of you. Both heartbeats and heartbreaks. Very, very tragic.

My blog is a piece of my life. Anything here belongs to my heart, from the smallest bauble to the greatest things that would move me, from the way I breathe, to the way I don’t. And this is where a hero lets it all out.

I realize that something must be wrong with anyone.

There are no specifics actually - of course I can name people but heck, who am I to do so - and being someone who observe and can be observed, I may just list what is it wrong. And to reveal it, I do think what's wrong is what we see. I honestly used myself.

Being someone who can tolerate things hardly, what I see is what I perceive easily, and sometimes what we really thought right is something wrong. There is a mixture of implied pride that easily goes into us, blinding us to resist acceptance. We hardly know, then, what is wrong, and sometimes, even if it's us who really are wrong... we still fight for what we hold onto.

How do you accept mistake easily, for heaven's sake, by the way? One careless thing for us to step into is what we think would come off easily, is not that safe. If you go into something and not ready for the consequences, why take it? Sometime in our life we would realize it. Is it our fault, or some kind of misinterpretations only? In this hodgepodge, we will never really know what to do now.

And going back, just because what we think is right (pertaining to a specific mishmash), and we have a number of acquaintances to support, we forget to view other factors.

I hope this goes to everyone concerned. And for my part, too. I guess it's time to let go... just completely ignore what happened months before, and take loads of bravery for tomorrow. If others are going to stay, it's their choice actually. But I don't really need to hope piteously because I have a life too. Enough said.

After all, there's another day to look forward too. I think my eyes are fixed.

P.S. I still think everyone is affected, and it's not something like one person could be a culprit. I'm going to put this in my head, I'm never going to forget easily. But I'll do my best to not hear those echoes some people would add; like Joar says I'm bad. Maybe, but my opinion is valid for me at least; and to tell someone a comment is not hurtful at all, I've realized. --- (<- And oh, this symbol I used to think meant two definitions. But now it only seems to define the word end).